We are golden.

Ow ow ow ow ow, typical me to hurt my foot the week I’m doing a bloody charity walk. It hurts so damn much!!! Feel like I’ve been complaining a little bit too much though so just going to sit back in my corner and shut up.

How do normal people dispel anger? It’s one of those things that I genuinely don’t understand, one of those things that makes me an outcast from society.

This is the eighth time in six weeks when I have failed to behave like a normal human being.

What are you supposed to do other than resort to physical violence?

I don’t understand why people feel the need to constantly involve themselves in petty disputes and conflict. Life is so much more beautiful than just the one you’re living. Others are living too, living the same basic life as you but taking that chance and turning it into something completely different yet equally beautiful. Life is the diversity and complexity of a woven blanket, as cliche as that it, with each thread playing an important part and changing that pattern just that little bit. 

We need one another for support. Why ruin that by behaving like a petulant child? I can’t believe we used to be so close. I miss who you used to be, but I refuse to have anything to do with you any longer.

You’ve gone too far this time. You think falling out with someone is bullying? Come back to me when you’re having stones thrown in your face, quite literally, every day.

That may be harsh of me because bullying is indeed different for each victim, but you have hurt a lot of people I care about and this pettishness will get you nowhere. Learn to accept that you are not the centre but merely one of the many citizens of this world, then perhaps we can begin to understand one another. The friendship we used to have is most definitely over. Do not attempt to talk to me. 

Too angry to make sense. Happily, as close as I may have felt, my promise remains unbroken.

Well that was absolutely wonderful.

It really was. If anybody ever gets the opportunity to see The Lady in the Van at the theatre (especially at the Curve this week) for the love of literature, GO. It’s two hours of brilliance, and it has you constantly walking the line between laughter and tears until you don’t know which is which any more. A wonderful insight into both the eccentricities and the basics of human nature, of pain and humour. It really is one of those things that makes you truly reflect on your life and how you’re living it. 

Too tired and emotional now. Time to go to bed and spend hours lying awake contemplating the life message derived from a simple play based on an even simpler ‘real life’ story. Simplicity is everything in a world so full of complication. 

I am a failure.

I want to be normal.
I never will be, but I want to be so desperately. No-one deserves to live with this, especially not someone as wonderful as my mother.
I wish this would stop so I could just stop being a freak.